Category Archives: Bladder Cancer

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Patchy – Chemo day 26

Patchy ~2008, looking over the edge of a steep cliff. No fear

Patchy ~2008, looking over the edge of a steep cliff. No fear

Sleep continues to remain elusive. I’m typing this at 3am. Patchy spent the last hour pacing and going in and out the back door. I finally resigned myself to not sleeping and gave her a second dinner, which clearly was her goal. Apparently meals are middle of the night now too.

I can’t really blame her. She eats so irregularly. She hardly ate anything Saturday, but i believe she had at least one bowl earlier today (Sunday). She binges and starves, binges and starves. Continue reading →

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Patchy – Onocologist Checkup

Clover and Patch, sharing a bed

I meant to write this a few days ago, right after the checkup on Wednesday, but things got in the way.

Patchy went in for a checkup with the oncologist on Wednesday.  He said everything looked good, including her blood work from that day.  He assured me that the increasing amount of blood in her urine wasn’t anything I should be worried about.  It could be good (her tumor is dissolving), it could be bad (the tumor is becoming more aggressive), or it could mean nothing (her body is just fighting harder).  We won’t know what’s going on until her ultrasound in another 4 weeks.  Its too early at this point to see any real effects of the chemo.   Continue reading →

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Patchy – Hopeful change

~2009, her favorite 'ball'

~2009, her favorite ‘ball’

One of my biggest worries has been about Patchy’s diminished appetite.  She often eats less than a can of wet food a day.  Usually nothing, or half a can.  Once in a while she’ll have ‘binge’ day and eat a can and a half, maybe 2.  But those usually come after a few days of little to nothing eaten.

Out of growing concern, I started cooking pork chops and other ‘human’ foods, to entice her to eat her wet food.  Drop some pork chop in, and see if she would eat the food around it too.  Sometimes it worked.  Sometimes it didn’t.  She was obviously hungry and interested in food, just not wanting what was being served.  (She would eat treats, and leftover human food when she could get it). Continue reading →

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Patchy – hope diminishing

Patchy sharing a bed with her Mom, she's ~9 months old here

Patchy sharing a bed with her Mom, she’s ~9 months old here

This is going to be a more depressing post.  I apologize.

The renewed interest in food was brief.  She is still eating better but not enough.  She’s getting maybe a can a day.  She tends to eat a little at least.  But not as much as that first day.  Some of it is pickiness (she seems to prefer the not soupy variety), but some of it is depression/lack of interest/lack of appetite.

She is pretty depressed most days.  Even going to work no longer cheers her up like it used to.  And Clover still provides stimulus, but greatly diminished.  Today was especially hard for me.  She was having trouble walking, slipping and sliding her legs out from under her.  Staying standing is proving tricky, and walking is very sway/tetter-tottery.

Her water intake, which had been phenomenal, is also becoming noticeably less.  Accidents no longer worry me, everything else is deteriorating before my eyes.

I’ll preface this my saying I’ve been averaging 4-6 hrs of sleep most nights (some due to Patchy, some due to other things [Clover, and a false smoke alarm]), which means I’m at a point of emotional vulnerability.  Maybe I’m overreacting or reading too much into this, but I’m thinking it might be time to finish off the bucket list and say goodbyes.